2010商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(5)

You are the manager of a small office. In order to reduce costs and improve the company's environmental practices, you have decided to collect and recycle all paper used in the office.

Write a memo of 40-50 words

informing staff of the new policy.

explaining how the paper will be collected

requesting staff to co-operate with the scheme.

参考作文：

Sample 48 words

TO: All staff

From: Paul Blake

Please note that from next Monday we are introducing an environmentally friendly scheme. All used paper from the office will be recycled. Used sheets should be placed in the green bin next to the photocopier for collection. All staff ate asked for their full cooperation with this scheme.

网友作文一：

TO:All staff

FROM:Manager

RE:recycle paper policy

In order to reduce costs and improve our company's environmental practices,I decide to[1] collect and recycle all paper used in the office.you shoud place your paper in the green box near the fountain before 6 pm on friday,we will recycle them once a week.

Cooperate please[2].

[1]你不是公司的助理或者负责清洁的吧?怎么自己去collect paper? 改为：it is decided to ....

[2]这句话应该放在上面一段的最尾。不是please, 而是we need your cooperation.

网友作文二：

To: All staff

From: Mr. Za

Here is the new policy aim to[1] reduction the costs[2] and improvement of the environmental practices of our company. Used paper in this office, on effect of this policy, should be collected by one appointed clerk each day for recycle use by selling them to recycle bin for a profit. [3] Please cooperate with this policy for our own good and each one will serve the duty in turn. [4]

Thank you

[1]结构问题，后面应该是分词做定语或状语，改为：aiming to

[2]反了，应该是：cost reduction 另外，aim to 是个动词词组，to 是介词么? 后面应该是动词词组。

[3]公司要靠卖废品来取得利润么?这句话说得可是太掉价了。去掉吧。

[4]去掉。

网友作文三：

To: All staff

From:Mrs Li

I would like to inform all of you that we would formulate a new policy of recycling the used paper in order for reducing the official stationery expences and meeting the environment needs. This policy will be implemented on 12.11.08 by putting the used paper in a certain (space)[1] . I hope all staff should could be co-operative with the scheme

[1]如果地点不确定，还不如不说。

网友作文四：

TO:all staff

FROM:Kathy

DATE: 19,OCT

SUBJECT: new policy

I am writing to infome you the new policy about paper using[1] in our office, in order to reduce our expenses and to make our working enviroment better, [2] paper will be collected by ourselives and then reuse them, please put the eused paper in the designated box instead of throwing it directly into the scrap basket, I hope we can co-operate on this policy.

[1]Being used

[2]这和改善你们的工作环境毫无关系，去掉。

网友作文五：

To: All staff

From:Management department

I am pleased to inform you that [1]all used paper in photocopy or printing could be recyled. As we know there are many papers [2]of which one side could be used again.

So please put the all-used paper in the red box beside the duplicator. and the one side-blank paper,pls put in the blue box.

I would like all of you obey the command[3]. Thank you.

[1]公司新政策的发布不用这么开心，开头正规些就可以了。

[2]这是不可数名词，there is a lot of paper....

[3]cooperate